It's important for us to remember who we are, as individuals and as a nation. Not as simple as it sounds. Gail Sheehy wrote a popular book called Passages in 1976 in which she outlined the challenges that people face at different stages of their lives.
I want to focus for a few moments on the 20’s. Sheehy refers to the 20’s as the “trying 20’s” – I assume she intended the pun – the 20’s are a time in a person’s life for trying things out –relationships, professional paths – once people have gained some independence from their parents. But the 20’s are also trying in the sense of difficult.
You look at people in their 20’s and they seem to be having an awesome time – they tend to look great, they are energetic, trying new things – big thumbs up – and in many respects they are having an awesome time. But beneath the surface, there is often insecurity that comes form being “neither here nor there,” having left the structure of the home in which they grew up and not yet having settled into a home of their own creation.
It is really important for people at any stage in life to feel grounded – to feel connected to family and community – but it is especially important during this phase of a person's life. Our three children are currently all in their 20's and I see how important it is first-hand.
In this phase of life a person needs to be reminded who he or she is fundamentally – what is the bedrock that I come from, and what is my potential. The details – those can be worked out, even when painful – but the essential "who am I" needs to be conveyed by the people who care most.
We don't know how old Jacob was when he left Beer Sheva on his way to Haran – escaping from his brother who wanted to kill him and heading off to find himself a spouse.
Who knows if he was actually in his 20's, but he was definitely in a trying phase of his life. One has to imagine that he felt vulnerable all on his own, fearful of his brother's anger, possibly remorseful about his actions in the past, anxious of his prospects for the future.
Vayetze – he has left somewhere, but he surely hasn't arrived anywhere yet – and he won't settle for decades.
He is, emotionally, psychology, a representative of everyone who, at a certain point – is between the relative stability of the home we grew up in and the relative stability of the home we will establish.
If you've ever been in that place – you left home, maybe for university, maybe to seek out a professional opportunity, maybe to move a new land – and you have no idea where you will ultimately land – then you likely can relate to Jacob's situation.
