Seeing People as People

We have to learn how to see other people as people.  That should be simple, but apparently it’s not so simple.

There is an excellent Israeli TV series that aired a few years ago It is called Shtissel and it is about a family in Jerusalem that is Ultra-Orthodox/Haredi/“Black hat."

Shulem and Akiva Shtissel from the Israel TV Series "Shtissel"

The main character is the patriarch of the family, Shulem. He’s recently widowed.  

Shulem doesn’t talk so much about his feelings but he is hurting. He misses his wife terribly.  At one point he tells his adult son Akiva, who lives with him, that his wife, Akiva’s mother, used to get up a little earlier than him, walk into the kitchen, take the butter out of the fridge and put it on the table so that it would start to soften.  Just a nice, kind thing she did for him every day that he remembers.

Several days later (same episode), Shulem has a day that is difficult for many reasons.  He goes home, sits down at the table, cuts a slice of bread, takes butter out of the fridge, puts the knife in the butter.  The butter of course is hard; the knife doesn’t move.  And he starts to cry.  

The show is unusual for Israeli television.   Why?  Because it presents ultra-Orthodox Jews as people.  Who fall in love and sometimes out of love and are sometimes happy and sometimes sad, who mourn loved ones, rely on small kindnesses, who have conflicts and yearnings.  Who want what’s best for the people they love and sometimes find that the people they love frustrate them deeply.  You know - people.

Often Israelis, American Jews too for that matter, speak about, read about, ultra-Orthodox Jews in the context of “those people” who look different, act different, sometimes say and do things that are intolerant.  While this show presented the ultra-Orthodox community’s unique customs and behaviors, the reason why the show was so successful is that primarily it presented the ways in which they are just like everybody else.  

Amazon had a series that ran for a few seasons called Transparent.  The main character is trans.  Born with male sex characteristics, the character lives much of his life male, but has always felt female, and takes the steps necessary so that her body and her sense of herself are consistent with one another.

The show was very successful.  Yes, it showed some of the unique struggles that many trans people go through.  But it was successful because it showed all of the people - regardless of their gender identities and sexual orientations - as people.  Who fall in and out of love, who have conflicts and yearnings.  Who mourn loved ones that have died, who are sometimes happy and sometimes sad.  Who want what’s best for the people they love and sometimes find that they people they love frustrate them deeply.  

When we get to know people as people, we can’t as easily say “those people” because they have names.  And faces. And hearts.  And souls.

Engage, Don't Escape

Zog nisht.  Don’t say anything.  Frag nisht.  Don’t ask any questions.

There are a variety of Yiddish expressions that convey the same basic mindset, namely - don’t get involved.  Worry about yourself. This is universal, I’m sure - the impulse to worry about ourselves, not to get caught up in what’s going on around us because - well, it’s too dangerous or it’s none of our business or we have enough of our own troubles to worry about.  As you might imagine, there are ways to express this mindset in multiple languages. 

Yossi Klein Halevi and Imam Abdullah Antepli will be at Temple Israel on November 18

For Jews, this mindset emerged, and was strengthened, when we lived in circumstances that were very tenuous.  Jews learned the hard way - in places like Buczacz, Tiraspol, Isfahan and Fez - the dangers of speaking out too much, or of engaging too confidently with the wider community.

In the Torah there is grand precedent for this cautious, self-preserving mindset. This was the mindset of Noah and his wife. God says, I’m going to destroy the world through flood.  Build yourselves an ark, a big boat, bring representatives from the animal kingdom with you.  Float away as the downpour begins.

And what do you do?  You start building.  You don’t ask questions.  Frag nisht.

This is America 2018.  I’m here to say, in no uncertain terms, that the mindset of “don’t tell, don’t ask,” the mindset of Noah and his wife - is dangerous.  Dangerous for us and dangerous for others.  

Where We Must Begin

There are many ways that the Torah could have begun.  It could have begun with the first commandment.  It could have begun with a description of the unique role of the children of Israel.  

It begins instead with creation.  Heaven and earth, light and dark, plants and animals.  And then ha’adam.  The human.  

ויברא אלהים את האדם בצלמו בצלם דמות תבניתו זכר ונקבה ברא אתם 

“God created the human in God’s image, male and female.”

Rashi gives the following interpretation:  

בדפוס העשוי לו, שהכל נברא במאמר והוא נברא בידים

“God created humanity in a special fashion.  Everything else was created through speech, while humanity was fashioned by God’s hands.” 

The human being, according to Rashi’s understanding, was fashioned directly by God.

What does it mean for human beings to be created in God’s image, with direct attention and care?  Here is what I believe it means:

If each of us is created directly by God, in God’s image, it means that we have infinite value that is non-negotiable and cannot be measured.

If each of us is created directly by God, in God’s image, it means that all the genders that we represent, all sexual orientations, all races, all ethnicities, all religions and no religion, all abilities, are part of the divine creative force.  

And therefore no gender, no sexuality, no race, no ethnicity, no religion, no ability, is to be preferred over any other.

If each of us is created directly by God, in God’s image, it means that we each have sovereignty over our own bodies and our own souls because they are direct gifts from our creator to us.  And therefore if and when we enter into relationship with one another, whatever the duration and nature of the relationship, we must respect one another’s bodies and souls the way that we would ideally respect our creator.

Suppose we’re not sure what we think about our creator?   Then we must respect one another’s bodies and souls the way that we would want others to respect our bodies and our souls.

If you are not sure what you believe about God, if you are not sure if or how you believe in God as creator, I ask you to consider how extraordinary it is that our ancestors told a story, one that we continue to tell, that raises up the dignity of each human being in equal measure.  Each human being bears a cosmic spark that gives each one of us equal and unlimited value.

I pray that we will each commit ourselves to raising up this spark in ourselves and in one another.  I call upon us to hold one another fully accountable for any behavior that seeks to demean and diminish this spark. 

Every human being is created with unlimited value. That is where the Torah begins and where we must begin.  We must begin by recognizing everyone's unlimited value and this must remain our guiding principle.