Roughly 10 years ago I was sitting at our dining room table, opposite Deanna, working on some project, and the phone rang. It was one of our son’s high school teachers. He said, “Hi Mr. Stecker. It’s Mr. So-and-so, your son’s teacher.” I said, “Hi Mr. So-and-so. So nice to hear from you.”
He said, “I want you to know that your son is a really great guy, Mr. Stecker.” I said, “Thanks, Mr. So-and-so.” He went on, “But the thing is, Mr. Stecker…there are a bunch of assignments that he didn’t hand in. And if he doesn’t get them in, it’s definitely going to affect his final grade. So hopefully you and Mrs. Stecker can talk to him and encourage him. Remember I’m here to help.” We discussed some of the details and then he said, “It’s been great talking to you, Mr. Stecker. I’m so glad that we can partner with each other to ensure the best educational outcomes for your son.”
And I said, “Thanks, Mr. So-and-so. I too am glad that we can partner together.”
I got off the phone. I summarized the conversation to Deanna and I said, “You know, this is frustrating. But let’s look on the bright side. If our son keeps going in this direction, we’ll be able to save a whole lot of college tuition.” And then I said a few more things that of course I shouldn’t have said.
At that point I heard a voice from the kitchen, which is right next to the dining room. “Thanks a lot, Abba.”
It was our son. It seems he had heard what I said. I felt terrible. I walked into the kitchen and apologized. I told him how much I love him, how much I regret what I said, how much faith I have in him. But of course, I couldn’t take back the words.
At that moment I understood something that I want to reflect on this morning for all of us. I understood that I have more power than I realize. We all have more power than we realize. Power to do harm. And also to do good.
He said, “I want you to know that your son is a really great guy, Mr. Stecker.” I said, “Thanks, Mr. So-and-so.” He went on, “But the thing is, Mr. Stecker…there are a bunch of assignments that he didn’t hand in. And if he doesn’t get them in, it’s definitely going to affect his final grade. So hopefully you and Mrs. Stecker can talk to him and encourage him. Remember I’m here to help.” We discussed some of the details and then he said, “It’s been great talking to you, Mr. Stecker. I’m so glad that we can partner with each other to ensure the best educational outcomes for your son.”
And I said, “Thanks, Mr. So-and-so. I too am glad that we can partner together.”
I got off the phone. I summarized the conversation to Deanna and I said, “You know, this is frustrating. But let’s look on the bright side. If our son keeps going in this direction, we’ll be able to save a whole lot of college tuition.” And then I said a few more things that of course I shouldn’t have said.
At that point I heard a voice from the kitchen, which is right next to the dining room. “Thanks a lot, Abba.”
It was our son. It seems he had heard what I said. I felt terrible. I walked into the kitchen and apologized. I told him how much I love him, how much I regret what I said, how much faith I have in him. But of course, I couldn’t take back the words.
At that moment I understood something that I want to reflect on this morning for all of us. I understood that I have more power than I realize. We all have more power than we realize. Power to do harm. And also to do good.
