Facing Antisemitism Forthrightly

My generation of rabbis - ordained in the 90’s - used to observe that our rabbinate would be different from those of previous generations.  Instead of focusing on the dangers of antisemitism, we would focus on the positive aspects of Judaism.  More joy, less oy.  I’m not sure who invented that phrase, but it expresses the sentiment that guided us.

On a recent Wednesday night, I asked a group of people attending a Temple Israel Men’s Club event - do you feel more afraid or less afraid to be a Jew now than you did when you were growing up?  Some said they feel less afraid now and spoke about being bullied as Jews when they grew up.  But most said they feel more afraid now.

With antisemitic incidents on the rise, as empirically charted by the ADL and other organizations, and with the genuine fear that many of us continue to have, of course I, and other Jewish leaders, need to continue to respond, to analyze, to offer insight and hopefully some direction when it comes to antisemitism.  

In one week alone, 4 people were murdered in Jersey City by to people who were targeting Jews, 3 students were assaulted at Indiana University, and Netzach Synagogue was vandalized in Beverly Hills. 

Here are some points I’ve made before, but I believe they bear repeating and expanding:

Difficult Conversations Start With Us

I recently finished a book that I would recommend.  It’s called “Difficult Conversations,” written by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen.  It’s about how to have difficult conversations in a way that is effective, that leads to understanding, rather than more frustration.

Delacroix, "Jacob Wrestling with the Angel"

Before I go on, I’d like to ask everyone here, children and adults - to think of a conversation that you are in the middle of, or one that you realize you need to have but haven’t started yet, that’s a difficult conversation.

Perhaps you have been, or need to be, talking to your child about a difficulty he or she is having socially in school.

Perhaps you have been, or need to be, talking to your parent about feeling anxious or depressed or, if your parent is older, about issues around independence.  

Perhaps you have been, or need to be, talking with a partner about something the other person does that bothers you, or about emotional or physical intimacy in your relationship.

Perhaps you have been, or need to be, talking with someone you supervise at work about how their performance has been problematic, or perhaps you need to talk to your supervisor about receiving greater responsibility and compensation.  

Take a minute to think about a difficult conversation in your own life.