When schools or houses of worship are looking for someone to work with their children – teachers or principals, for example - you’ll hear people say, “We want to find a pied piper.”
What they usually mean by that is, someone charismatic who will inspire children. When we think of the “pied piper,” we imagine someone playing a flute and all the children are mesmerized and following behind.
The actual story is quite a bit darker. There are several versions of it that originate in medieval Germany but the gist of the story is that a man is hired by a village that is overrun by rats to get rid of the rats. He starts to play the flute, all the rats are attracted and mesmerized by the sound of the music, they follow behind the man. He leads them to a river where they all drown.
The mayor of the village doesn’t "pay the piper." He reneges on the original agreement. So the piper seeks revenge. He plays a different tune on his flute which attracts all of the children, who line up behind him and skip along. In one version he leads them to a cave, in another into a river, but they are never heard from again.
Charisma is a quality that we often associate with leadership and a quality that we like to see in our leaders whether they are working with adults or children – who wants a shleppy leader? Appropriately channeled, it can be a positive part of successful leadership. But charisma can be dangerous. And I would argue that it should not be the primary quality we look for when we consider leadership.
Online and print media have been abuzz with discussion about Marc Gafni, a spiritual leader who first received Orthodox ordination and subsequently was ordained by the Renewal movement.
He has been widely regarded as charismatic. People are drawn to his brilliance and to his electrifying presence and presentation.
Over the years he has been accused by numerous women of different ages, in different places, from different backgrounds, of inappropriate sexual behavior, including two who were underage at the time. Those who have written about their experiences describe a pattern of deceit and manipulation along with the charisma and charm.
Each time the community where he resided and taught grew aware of his deceitful and predatory behavior, he would pick himself up and move to a different community which was prepared to welcome the charismatic leader, the Jewish pied piper.
When, weeks ago, the New York Times wrote about his latest iteration running a spiritual think tank in California, a few Jewish leaders decided to take action, most notably my colleague, Rabbi David Ingber of Romemu, who wrote and circulated a petition signed by over 2000 Jewish leaders, myself included.
The petition begins:
"For the sake of the truth. For the sake of those whose voices have been silenced for too long. For the sake of those who have been needlessly hurt. For the sake of those who may be... if we don’t act now."
And after describing the nature and scope of the accusations it concludes:
"We, along with all who sign this petition, stand together with those who were his victims and call upon those who support Marc (Mordechai) Gafni to cut all financial and institutional ties with him."
Gafni's latest endeavor, a spiritual center in California, has the backing of several prominent businesspeople including the CEO of Whole Foods.
Elena Sztokman, an educator and author, wrote the following about the dynamic behind the behavior of people like Gafni:
"In the Jewish world, where rabbis are often respected for their “charisma”, this dynamic is especially problematic. The more charisma a rabbi has, the more power he has to abuse through emotional manipulation. Moreover, charisma, which is one of the primary signs of an abusive or even sociopath personality, makes people believe the abuser’s story rather than the victim’s testimony. The Jewish community has the unfortunate tendency to equate charisma with righteousness, which benefits rabbi abusers and leaves low-status victims struggling alone." (On Marc Gafni, the New York Times, and how Sexual Predator Rabbis get communal support 1/7/16)
Of course charismatic leadership doesn't necessarily go hand in hand with socio-pathology, a word that many have used to describe Gafni's behavior. But the resurgence and intensification of the discussion about him sparked renewed conversation about the potential dangers of the charismatic model that include:
The heightened ego of the leader, fed by the unmitigated adoration of followers.
The absence of humility and partnership.
The over-emphasis on quick bursts of inspiration, rather than a commitment to the long and often circuitous journey of insight and growth.
The Torah offers a starkly different view of leadership and it's worth taking a look.
I would argue that in the leadership of Moses in particular we see several implicit critiques of the charismatic model that should give us pause.
First, Moses is reluctant. מי אני כי אלך אל פרעה Mi ani ki elech el Par'o? Who am I to go to Pharoah? He asks God. Judging from context, this appears to be real reluctance that stems from real humility, not the false humility that some leaders use as a tool of manipulation. Moses does not crave the spotlight whatsoever.
Second, Moses does not possess one of the tell-tale signs of leadership known in the ancient world. He's no orator - to the contrary, he is, by his own acknowledgement, כבד פה וכבד לשון kh'vad pe ukh'vad lashon, he's an awkward speaker. It's interesting that the Torah presents him as being deficient in a quality that was (and is) often associated with leadership.
Third, the people don't exactly fall all over themselves in rapt adoration of him, nor are they easily swayed by his leadership. To the contrary - they often resent him and don't listen to him.
Fourth, Moses delegates leadership. He will assign people to handle different tasks, including his brother Aaron who oversees rituals and the artisan Betsalel who oversees the artistic elements of the sanctuary and, following the advice of his father-in-law, he will appoint people to help him adjudicate cases. Not everything needs to be done by him.
Fifth, he is responsive to the needs of the people and prepared to change course when he is convinced of their arguments. This we see when two and a half of the tribes prefer to stay east of the Jordan but promise to help the other tribes to conquer the land west of the Jordan. Moses and the two and half tribes work out a creative solution that is responsive to everyone's needs.
And finally Moses is with the people for the long haul. He loses his cool on several occasions, but his leadership is long-term, ups and downs, for over 40 years.
What a vastly different vision of leadership is presented explicitly and implicitly in the career of Moses, a vastly different vision from the charismatic, pied piper, "wow me now" approach that is all too prevalent in many realms.
I urge us as a community to think carefully about the potential dangers inherent in the charismatic model of leadership in a wide variety of settings.
I urge us to commit to the less seductive but ultimately more beneficial process whereby leaders and their communities move forward together, collaboratively, long-term.
Our synagogue is undergoing a strategic planning process. We are forming task forces to examine several important areas which include outreach, youth engagement, intermarriage and inclusion. In short, we are committed to significant conversation and action regarding areas that need to be addressed in order to ensure our vibrant future, in order to ensure that our synagogue maximizes its potential as a place where Judaism positively transforms our lives and our world.
I'm energized by the work we've done and the work we are planning to do and what I find most inspiring is the continued reinforcement of something I always knew, namely the high degree of talent and commitment within our congregation.
Which means that no one individual has to light every light or conceive of every idea. No one individual is playing a tune and expecting everyone to follow behind. That's inspiring and it's reassuring.
I hope that the damaging leadership of Gafni and others who behave similarly will be successfully combatted as we continue to speak out.
I hope that religious, spiritual and secular communities will reconsider the undue emphasis placed on charisma, recognizing that commitment and collaboration are healthier and far more productive, certainly in the long run.
Moses's statement to Pharoah as the movement toward redemption gains momentum offers a revealing encapsulation of what true leadership can look like. בנערנו ובזקננו נלך Bine'areinu uvizkenenu nelech. With our old and our young, we will move forward. Not I. But we. At the beginning and end of the day, the "we" says it all.
Originally delivered at Temple Israel of Great Neck on January 9, 2016
What they usually mean by that is, someone charismatic who will inspire children. When we think of the “pied piper,” we imagine someone playing a flute and all the children are mesmerized and following behind.
The actual story is quite a bit darker. There are several versions of it that originate in medieval Germany but the gist of the story is that a man is hired by a village that is overrun by rats to get rid of the rats. He starts to play the flute, all the rats are attracted and mesmerized by the sound of the music, they follow behind the man. He leads them to a river where they all drown.
The mayor of the village doesn’t "pay the piper." He reneges on the original agreement. So the piper seeks revenge. He plays a different tune on his flute which attracts all of the children, who line up behind him and skip along. In one version he leads them to a cave, in another into a river, but they are never heard from again.
Charisma is a quality that we often associate with leadership and a quality that we like to see in our leaders whether they are working with adults or children – who wants a shleppy leader? Appropriately channeled, it can be a positive part of successful leadership. But charisma can be dangerous. And I would argue that it should not be the primary quality we look for when we consider leadership.
Online and print media have been abuzz with discussion about Marc Gafni, a spiritual leader who first received Orthodox ordination and subsequently was ordained by the Renewal movement.
He has been widely regarded as charismatic. People are drawn to his brilliance and to his electrifying presence and presentation.
Over the years he has been accused by numerous women of different ages, in different places, from different backgrounds, of inappropriate sexual behavior, including two who were underage at the time. Those who have written about their experiences describe a pattern of deceit and manipulation along with the charisma and charm.
Each time the community where he resided and taught grew aware of his deceitful and predatory behavior, he would pick himself up and move to a different community which was prepared to welcome the charismatic leader, the Jewish pied piper.
When, weeks ago, the New York Times wrote about his latest iteration running a spiritual think tank in California, a few Jewish leaders decided to take action, most notably my colleague, Rabbi David Ingber of Romemu, who wrote and circulated a petition signed by over 2000 Jewish leaders, myself included.
The petition begins:
"For the sake of the truth. For the sake of those whose voices have been silenced for too long. For the sake of those who have been needlessly hurt. For the sake of those who may be... if we don’t act now."
And after describing the nature and scope of the accusations it concludes:
"We, along with all who sign this petition, stand together with those who were his victims and call upon those who support Marc (Mordechai) Gafni to cut all financial and institutional ties with him."
Gafni's latest endeavor, a spiritual center in California, has the backing of several prominent businesspeople including the CEO of Whole Foods.
Elena Sztokman, an educator and author, wrote the following about the dynamic behind the behavior of people like Gafni:
"In the Jewish world, where rabbis are often respected for their “charisma”, this dynamic is especially problematic. The more charisma a rabbi has, the more power he has to abuse through emotional manipulation. Moreover, charisma, which is one of the primary signs of an abusive or even sociopath personality, makes people believe the abuser’s story rather than the victim’s testimony. The Jewish community has the unfortunate tendency to equate charisma with righteousness, which benefits rabbi abusers and leaves low-status victims struggling alone." (On Marc Gafni, the New York Times, and how Sexual Predator Rabbis get communal support 1/7/16)
Of course charismatic leadership doesn't necessarily go hand in hand with socio-pathology, a word that many have used to describe Gafni's behavior. But the resurgence and intensification of the discussion about him sparked renewed conversation about the potential dangers of the charismatic model that include:
The heightened ego of the leader, fed by the unmitigated adoration of followers.
The absence of humility and partnership.
The over-emphasis on quick bursts of inspiration, rather than a commitment to the long and often circuitous journey of insight and growth.
The Torah offers a starkly different view of leadership and it's worth taking a look.
I would argue that in the leadership of Moses in particular we see several implicit critiques of the charismatic model that should give us pause.
First, Moses is reluctant. מי אני כי אלך אל פרעה Mi ani ki elech el Par'o? Who am I to go to Pharoah? He asks God. Judging from context, this appears to be real reluctance that stems from real humility, not the false humility that some leaders use as a tool of manipulation. Moses does not crave the spotlight whatsoever.
Second, Moses does not possess one of the tell-tale signs of leadership known in the ancient world. He's no orator - to the contrary, he is, by his own acknowledgement, כבד פה וכבד לשון kh'vad pe ukh'vad lashon, he's an awkward speaker. It's interesting that the Torah presents him as being deficient in a quality that was (and is) often associated with leadership.
Third, the people don't exactly fall all over themselves in rapt adoration of him, nor are they easily swayed by his leadership. To the contrary - they often resent him and don't listen to him.
Fourth, Moses delegates leadership. He will assign people to handle different tasks, including his brother Aaron who oversees rituals and the artisan Betsalel who oversees the artistic elements of the sanctuary and, following the advice of his father-in-law, he will appoint people to help him adjudicate cases. Not everything needs to be done by him.
Fifth, he is responsive to the needs of the people and prepared to change course when he is convinced of their arguments. This we see when two and a half of the tribes prefer to stay east of the Jordan but promise to help the other tribes to conquer the land west of the Jordan. Moses and the two and half tribes work out a creative solution that is responsive to everyone's needs.
And finally Moses is with the people for the long haul. He loses his cool on several occasions, but his leadership is long-term, ups and downs, for over 40 years.
What a vastly different vision of leadership is presented explicitly and implicitly in the career of Moses, a vastly different vision from the charismatic, pied piper, "wow me now" approach that is all too prevalent in many realms.
I urge us as a community to think carefully about the potential dangers inherent in the charismatic model of leadership in a wide variety of settings.
I urge us to commit to the less seductive but ultimately more beneficial process whereby leaders and their communities move forward together, collaboratively, long-term.
Our synagogue is undergoing a strategic planning process. We are forming task forces to examine several important areas which include outreach, youth engagement, intermarriage and inclusion. In short, we are committed to significant conversation and action regarding areas that need to be addressed in order to ensure our vibrant future, in order to ensure that our synagogue maximizes its potential as a place where Judaism positively transforms our lives and our world.
I'm energized by the work we've done and the work we are planning to do and what I find most inspiring is the continued reinforcement of something I always knew, namely the high degree of talent and commitment within our congregation.
Which means that no one individual has to light every light or conceive of every idea. No one individual is playing a tune and expecting everyone to follow behind. That's inspiring and it's reassuring.
I hope that the damaging leadership of Gafni and others who behave similarly will be successfully combatted as we continue to speak out.
I hope that religious, spiritual and secular communities will reconsider the undue emphasis placed on charisma, recognizing that commitment and collaboration are healthier and far more productive, certainly in the long run.
Moses's statement to Pharoah as the movement toward redemption gains momentum offers a revealing encapsulation of what true leadership can look like. בנערנו ובזקננו נלך Bine'areinu uvizkenenu nelech. With our old and our young, we will move forward. Not I. But we. At the beginning and end of the day, the "we" says it all.
Originally delivered at Temple Israel of Great Neck on January 9, 2016
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