Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Turning Our Worry Into Action

When I was in college I spoke to my parents about once a week, usually on Friday afternoons.   In addition to the general back and forth, my mother would usually ask if I was getting all my work done.  

I wondered at the time why she was still worried about this.  I was, after all, 20 years old and managing reasonably well.



Years later, when I was a rabbi and we would talk before the holidays, she would ask if I was getting my work done.  Are the sermons going to be ready?

I used to think that my mother worried more than my father since she usually asked the questions, but one week when I was a teenager and she took off to visit my aunt in Cincinnati and left him to “take care of me,” he worried non-stop.  

I’m sure that worrying is universal, but Jews certainly have a reputation for it.  We even have our own jokes about worrying, including one I expect you’ve heard.

What does the classic Jewish telegram read?

Start worrying.  Details to follow.

Passover is known as the season of our freedom.

Perhaps we can also refer to it as the "season of our worrying."  Will we clean the house in time?  Will will be ready for the seder? Will everyone we invited get along?  And I'm sure I left out a few sources of concern.

Fortunately Judaism has an important insight to offer us about worrying.

Often worrying can prevent us from acting.  It can be crippling, especially for people who suffer from extreme forms of anxiety.  

The insight that Judaism offers us is that worrying, anxiety even, can be positive if it encourages us to act in productive ways.  

To encapsulate:  If you’re worried, if you're anxious, try do something productive with your worry and your anxiety.  

The original Passover was known as ליל שמורים leil Shimurim – the night of watching.  It was in many respects a night of worrying.  What’s going to happen?  Will we be ok?  Will the Egyptians harm us?  Will we ever be able to leave this place?  

But the worry led to action.  Our ancestors prepared a family meal.  They prepared to leave Egypt.  And they prepared to tell their story to future generations.  

Worrying can dull our thinking.  But it can also sharpen our thinking.   It can make us inert.  But it can also gear us up for action.

On this final day of Passover I want to encourage us to turn our worrying into appropriate action that can actually address the issues that we’re worried about.

There are numerous examples of this that don’t require much explanation.  

We’re worried about our health and so we take proper precautions.  Still things happen, still we can’t possibly forestall every illness and condition, but worrying that leads to exercise and healthy eating is a good thing.  

The same is true with financial worries, that can encourage us to pursue or strengthen professional opportunities.   

To the extent that our worries extend beyond ourselves, which I hope they do, we can channel them appropriately.  

Ideally we can encourage thoughtful behavior in those we love without driving them crazy...

To the extent that we’re worried about the planet, which I hope we are, there are steps we can take to reduce our own negative impact on the earth .

If we’re worried about laws or policies that are being promulgated, we can advocate in all the ways that are available to us.

I want to take a moment to talk about a source of worry in our community.  It’s no secret that the bond proposed for the Great Neck schools was recently voted down. 

On May 16 there will be an opportunity to vote for an amended bond as well as a chance to vote for the annual budget.

If you are worried – about the quality of education, about the value of your home, about the future of excellence in our community – then vote.  Don’t just worry.  Vote.

If you don’t vote, you are allowing other people to determine the future of our community.  

There are issues about which I have some ambivalence but this is not one of them.  I believe we should trust the professional and lay educational leadership of our community, who have amply earned our trust, and we should support their proposals for our schools.

Deanna and I sent our children to Jewish day schools.  They received an excellent education and I feel we made a fine educational choice, though frankly I am wistful from time to time about what they missed out on by not availing themselves of the excellent Great Neck schools.  

Regardless of the choice we made, however, we have always felt compelled to support our outstanding public schools.  Clearly they offer so much to those enrolled, as well as numerous services to those who attend private schools.

Our schools provide outstanding education for all students, regardless of their circumstance; they provide life lessons that come from the full diversity of the Great Neck community; they offer extra curricular activities that in many respects are unparalleled.  

Above all they give the children in our community the tools to be productive and compassionate citizens of our imperfect, but quite incomparable, democracy.  

If we are worried about the future of our schools and our community, we need to act on behalf of our schools and our community.  We need to act on behalf of our future.

The Israeli psychologists, Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky, collaborated on many articles pertaining to human perception.  What I find particularly interesting about their collaboration is the extent to which their anxiety fueled their efforts.

Kahneman in particular is an anxious person, always second-guessing himself, always wondering if he left a stone unturned in his analysis.

His anxiety pushed his colleague forward and together they produced research that revolutionized much thinking in contemporary psychology.

As Passover draws to a close, I hereby give thanks to all of the people whose anxiety made the world a better place, all of the people who worried themselves and others toward improvement in multiple realms.

Mom and Dad – thank you for worrying whether I’m getting my work done. I still feel your loving concern moving me forward.  Just a few days ago, without connecting the dots at the time, I asked your grandchildren if they were getting their work done.  So know that your legacy is alive and well.

I urge us to think about the people whose concern, anxiety, worry – whatever we want to call it – helped give us the direction and the energy to move forward.

How beneficial if we could bring the anxiety of leil shimurim – the night of watching and worrying – to each day, holidays and regular days.

I urge us to consider an addendum to the telegram joke.  Perhaps not as funny, but more inspiring:

Keep worrying.  Action to follow.  

Let's use our worry to inspire helpful, productive, responsible action.

Originally delivered to the Temple Israel of Great Neck community on the final day of Passover, April 18, 2017












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