With Our Young and Our Old We Go Forth

The forum known as Intelligence Squared recently held a debate about the Millennial generation.  Millennials are defined as those born between 1980 and 2000. 

The proposition of the debate was, "Millennials don’t stand a chance."  Arguing in favor was a lawyer and human rights advocate as well as a professor of psychology, both older than the millennial generation.  Arguing against, in other words, arguing that Millennials DO stand a chance, were, perhaps not surprisingly, two Millennials. 

You can imagine the arguments which say Millennials don’t stand a chance at achieving success – they are narcissistic, coddled, still living at home, unable to face the challenges that lie ahead.

And you can probably imagine the arguments that say that Millenials will be just fine – they have been handed a rough deal in terms of a lousy economy, but they are more idealistic and socially conscious than previous generations and they will prevail.

"Millenials Don't Stand a Chance":  Intelligence Squared debate participants David D. Burstein and Jessica Grose

Those who are present this morning who are two or three generations older than the Millennials may well be thinking, "We’ve heard this song before."

Older generations have often looked at younger generations and said, you are less capable, more self-serving, more clueless than we were when we were your age.  And younger generations have said to their elders, you don’t understand us.  We are more responsible and capable than you think.

In ancient times, the Torah anticipated that the generation following the Exodus wouldn’t understand its significance.  והיה כי יאמרו עליכם בניכם מה העבודה הזאת לכם Vahaya ki yomru aleikhem b’neikhem ma ha’avoda hazot lakhem.  It will come to pass that your children will say to you, "what does all of this mean to you?"

But at least the Torah anticipates that the children will care enough to ask.  And the result of the question and the suggested response is that both generations grow to understand the importance of freedom and what that means in terms of their future responsibilities toward other Israelites and non-Israelites.

Because this one asks and that one responds, you have the beginning of a conversation and a collaboration.

We don’t face life’s challenges successfully by blaming each other.  We face them successfully by talking with each other and, ideally, working together.

I’m going to suggest two important areas in which we need to talk honestly across the generations.

First has to do with attitudes toward Israel.  I’m going to generalize, but only based on what I’ve read and observed.  Those who came of age from the establishment of Israel in 1948 to the six-day war in 1967 tend to have a different attitude than those who were born later.

Many Jews born after 1967, to be honest, have little connection to Israel at all.  But those who do often don’t accept the “us vs. them” mentality that their parents and grandparents often maintain.

Careful, honest conversations across the generations about Israel can explore a few important questions:

What does it mean to support Israel even if you disagree with some of her policies?

How might it be possible to support a two-state solution without in any way undercutting Israel’s security?

What ought an American Jew’s attitude toward Israel be when so many Israelis are struggling with the complexities of Jewish identity in Israel?

I find that older Jews can be quick to dismiss younger Jews as disinterested or dismissive when it comes to Israel and younger Jews regard older Jews as rigid and preachy.

Truth is that forthright discussion among older and younger Jews regarding Israel is likely to yield an approach that is supportive AND realistic, mindful of Israel’s uniqueness and aware of her pitfalls.

The second area has to do with what it means to be Jewish.  I don’t know if we needed the recent Pew report to tell us that Jews ages 18-34 regard being Jewish differently than their parents and grandparents.  By and large, Millennials are further integrated into the non-Jewish world than previous generations.

They have more diverse groups of friends and their dating patterns, whatever we might prefer or encourage, are, on the whole, more diverse.

Therefore, they are less likely to embrace Judaism because it preserves differences between them and other people.  If anything, they will embrace Judaism to the extent that it brings personal meaning to their lives.

There’s a new trend at college campuses across the country.  Our children are inviting their non-Jewish friends to Friday night services and dinners.

That didn’t happen much, if at all, when I was in college.

What might this mean?  I think it might mean that our children are proud to be Jewish and want to share it with the people they value, and that includes people who are not Jewish.

Millennials by and large don’t think Jews are superior to non-Jews and they likely don’t think Judaism is superior to other religions.

But they are more aware of the value of Judaism than their elders might imagine, and will often say that their Judaism is the reason why they support charitable organizations that help Jews and non-Jews.

Young Jews generally haven’t experienced anti-Semitism.

At the Men’s Club Scotch and Seder, I asked people to raise their hands if they ever experienced emotional or physical anti-semitism, and most had.  I asked if their children, to the best of their knowledge, had experienced anti-semitism and most said they had not.

What happens when a generation who experienced anti-Semitism of one sort or another, who has mostly Jewish friends, who has memories of feeling threatened as a Jew, speaks with a generation that never felt threatened, and that was raised to consider if Judaism, like everything else, is personally meaningful.

The recent shootings in Kansas City are a reminder that anti-Semitism, even in its basest form, still exists in the United States.

And yet, surely we don’t want the hatred of others to define who we are.

If we talk to each other across the generations, we can ask each other:

How do we define the scope and purpose of being Jewish when, despite lingering anti-Semitism, we are more accepted by the world at large now than ever before? 

How do we introduce Jews and non-Jews alike to the beauty of Jewish customs and thinking?   Why keep such an exquisite tradition to ourselves?

A few weeks ago, a teenager in our congregation won a prestigious recognition in the Jewish Week for an article she wrote about her generation.  In her essay, “You tell us we’re the future.  But we’re also the present," our very own Juliet Freudman wrote the following:

"We believe we’re invincible ... but what is so wrong with that? What is so wrong with believing that your dreams can come true? We ignore the skepticism and cynicism that seems to come with age, but we are far from ignorant. We are aware of what is going on in the world around us and just because our eyes are glued to our computer screens doesn’t mean we are blind to everyone else. We have passion in our hearts and fire in our bellies. Our faith in ourselves does not result in naïveté to the harsh realities of this world but in determination to make a difference. And don’t underestimate us; we will make a difference. We already are."

There has always been mistrust and misunderstanding across the generations.  And yet,our tradition, starting with its Biblical roots, imagined one generation talking to the other so that they could apply a central narrative of freedom and responsibility to the contemporary challenges of the time.

No one has the complete story – no one ever did and no one does today.  So-called Millennials and xers and boomers and the greatest generation each have a piece of the story. 

When Moses demanded that Pharoah allow the Israelites to leave Egypt, Pharoah asked Moses, מי ומי ההולכים  mi va mi ha’holkhim?  Who will leave?  Moses answered, בנערינו ובזקנינו נלך bin’areinu uvizkeinenu nelekh  With our young and our old, we will go forth. 

It was the right answer thousands of years ago and it’s right today. 

לדור ודור נגיד גדלך L’dor vador nagid godlekha – from one generation to another, we declare God’s greatness.  From one generation to another, we define ourselves and our mission.

From one generation to another, we who left the constraints of Egypt continue to find ways to bring blessing to the entire world.

Originally delivered at Temple Israel of Great Neck on the First Day of Passover, April 15, 2014