What do people think about wearing a kippa in public?
About lighting a Hanukkah menorah in the public square?
What do we feel about sharing our feelings for our loved ones publicly?
About doing acts of kindness, or advocating for justice, in public ways?
I suspect some of us think it’s a great idea to be public about all manner of observance and behavior, Jewish or general, and others think, not so much. Or perhaps for most of us it depends on the issue at hand.
I want to reflect on the private/public dilemma of how we live our lives generally and how we navigate being Jewish. What do we keep private? What do we share publicly?
In rabbinic tradition, there seem to be two competing imperatives.
On the one hand, there is the imperative to be private. Maimonides calls prayer עבודה שבלב avodah shebalev. Service of the heart. Elsewhere he speaks about what God wants us to do when we have said terrible things publicly about God. God says to us, עשה תשובה ביני ובינך ואני אקבלך asei t’shuva beinee uveincha va’ani akabel’kha. Just do teshuva with me, work it out with me, and I will receive you.
On the other hand, there is the imperative to be public. Kaddish - the prayer of affirmation - must occur publicly, with a minyan of at least 10 people.
On Hanukkah we’re supposed to display the Hanukkiah, the Hanukkah menorah, publicly. The rabbis said that we’re supposed to publicize the miracle of Hanukkah. It isn’t sufficient to enjoy it privately.
I think that we navigate, in our minds, in our hearts, in our actions - between “keep it private,” “it’s no one else’s business,” “it’s between us and God” and “you know - we should share this.”
This is true when it comes to how we live in general. To what extent is the love that we have for a child or a partner something that’s private, between us and the other person, with a little “thank God” thrown in? To what extent is this something that we want, or need, to share publicly?
Weddings are quite public. But I have occasionally said to the couple, when you go home, it’s just you. Public celebration, but your love will by and large be expressed privately as you build your home together.
I’m not going to go on and on about social media - like many things it has its ups and downs. I share stuff on social media. Many people share stuff. I just want to raise questions for us to think about. What’s going on when we share our feelings about another individual with hundreds or more people, some of whom we know well, some of whom we know less well?
What do we gain? What do we lose? What does wide sharing do for intimacy? Does it enhance it or detract? I don’t have the answers, but I think it’s worth raising the questions.
Regarding how we express our Jewishness. I think it’s important for us to explore the private, personal dimensions of prayer and observance. How we express our faith is not meant to be a performance. I fear that we are so accustomed to “doing Jewish” in public that from one generation to another, we may be losing the capacity for soulful reflection or the sense of satisfaction that comes from helping other people quietly, discreetly.
And yet - I believe there’s also a place for the public declaration, the public affirmation.
Being together when we pray can enhance our individual devotion.
Joining together to perform acts of kindness can increase our individual resources.
Urging one another to advocate for justice can strengthen our individual resolve.
In today's Torah reading, Joseph advocates publicly for a systematic way to save a society from starvation. His public, systematic advocacy was necessary in order for his efforts to be successful. And yet, when he reveals his identity to his brothers after years of estrangement, he orders everyone else to leave the room so that they can have a moment of private revelation and reconciliation. Not every moment needs to be widely shared.
Many in the congregation know by now that I’m going to be traveling in January to Guatemala as part of a group of rabbinic fellows sponsored by the American Jewish World Service. AJWS’s work is to support and empower human rights groups in various countries to address the underlying causes of poverty. They do their work publicly, transparently. It is not incidental that the word Jewish appears in their title. Jewish values underly every aspect of their vision and implementation and the people in the countries whom they impact, as well as those whose policies are being called into question, know that the organization is Jewish in essential ways.
This is intentional and public for good reason. The more publicity, the more support they get for their important work.
I hope to learn more about the work they do bringing Jewish values to bear on some of the most seemingly intractable challenges in these countries.
Likewise, on the fifth anniversary of the shootings in Sandy Hook Elementary school, we should recognize that public advocacy for sensible gun laws is infinitely more effective than private contemplation.
On this Shabbat of Hanukkah I urge us to reflect on the private and public aspects of our social and spiritual lives. What is best left as a private matter, between us, our loved ones, and our creator? And when and how do we and others benefit by sharing the prayer or facing the challenge together, whatever that challenge might be?
I’ll conclude with some of the lyrics from a well-known Israeli song which begins, באנו חשך לגרש banu hoshekh l’garesh. We have come to chase out the darkness.
כל אחד הוא אור קטן Kol ehad hu or katan. Each person is a small light.
וכולנו אור איתן V’khulanu or eitan. And all of us together are an enormous light.
Let’s honor the individual, intimate light that each of us brings to the world. Our private prayers, our intimate connections to one another, should be cherished.
And let’s honor as well the enormous light that we bring to the world when we join together.
They’re all good. They’re all worth nurturing and cultivating and celebrating on this holiday of lights.
Originally delivered at Temple Israel of Great Neck on Shabbat Hanukkah, December 16, 2017
About lighting a Hanukkah menorah in the public square?
What do we feel about sharing our feelings for our loved ones publicly?
About doing acts of kindness, or advocating for justice, in public ways?
I suspect some of us think it’s a great idea to be public about all manner of observance and behavior, Jewish or general, and others think, not so much. Or perhaps for most of us it depends on the issue at hand.
I want to reflect on the private/public dilemma of how we live our lives generally and how we navigate being Jewish. What do we keep private? What do we share publicly?
In rabbinic tradition, there seem to be two competing imperatives.
On the one hand, there is the imperative to be private. Maimonides calls prayer עבודה שבלב avodah shebalev. Service of the heart. Elsewhere he speaks about what God wants us to do when we have said terrible things publicly about God. God says to us, עשה תשובה ביני ובינך ואני אקבלך asei t’shuva beinee uveincha va’ani akabel’kha. Just do teshuva with me, work it out with me, and I will receive you.
On the other hand, there is the imperative to be public. Kaddish - the prayer of affirmation - must occur publicly, with a minyan of at least 10 people.
On Hanukkah we’re supposed to display the Hanukkiah, the Hanukkah menorah, publicly. The rabbis said that we’re supposed to publicize the miracle of Hanukkah. It isn’t sufficient to enjoy it privately.
I think that we navigate, in our minds, in our hearts, in our actions - between “keep it private,” “it’s no one else’s business,” “it’s between us and God” and “you know - we should share this.”
This is true when it comes to how we live in general. To what extent is the love that we have for a child or a partner something that’s private, between us and the other person, with a little “thank God” thrown in? To what extent is this something that we want, or need, to share publicly?
Weddings are quite public. But I have occasionally said to the couple, when you go home, it’s just you. Public celebration, but your love will by and large be expressed privately as you build your home together.
I’m not going to go on and on about social media - like many things it has its ups and downs. I share stuff on social media. Many people share stuff. I just want to raise questions for us to think about. What’s going on when we share our feelings about another individual with hundreds or more people, some of whom we know well, some of whom we know less well?
What do we gain? What do we lose? What does wide sharing do for intimacy? Does it enhance it or detract? I don’t have the answers, but I think it’s worth raising the questions.
Regarding how we express our Jewishness. I think it’s important for us to explore the private, personal dimensions of prayer and observance. How we express our faith is not meant to be a performance. I fear that we are so accustomed to “doing Jewish” in public that from one generation to another, we may be losing the capacity for soulful reflection or the sense of satisfaction that comes from helping other people quietly, discreetly.
And yet - I believe there’s also a place for the public declaration, the public affirmation.
Being together when we pray can enhance our individual devotion.
Joining together to perform acts of kindness can increase our individual resources.
Urging one another to advocate for justice can strengthen our individual resolve.
In today's Torah reading, Joseph advocates publicly for a systematic way to save a society from starvation. His public, systematic advocacy was necessary in order for his efforts to be successful. And yet, when he reveals his identity to his brothers after years of estrangement, he orders everyone else to leave the room so that they can have a moment of private revelation and reconciliation. Not every moment needs to be widely shared.
Many in the congregation know by now that I’m going to be traveling in January to Guatemala as part of a group of rabbinic fellows sponsored by the American Jewish World Service. AJWS’s work is to support and empower human rights groups in various countries to address the underlying causes of poverty. They do their work publicly, transparently. It is not incidental that the word Jewish appears in their title. Jewish values underly every aspect of their vision and implementation and the people in the countries whom they impact, as well as those whose policies are being called into question, know that the organization is Jewish in essential ways.
This is intentional and public for good reason. The more publicity, the more support they get for their important work.
I hope to learn more about the work they do bringing Jewish values to bear on some of the most seemingly intractable challenges in these countries.
Likewise, on the fifth anniversary of the shootings in Sandy Hook Elementary school, we should recognize that public advocacy for sensible gun laws is infinitely more effective than private contemplation.
On this Shabbat of Hanukkah I urge us to reflect on the private and public aspects of our social and spiritual lives. What is best left as a private matter, between us, our loved ones, and our creator? And when and how do we and others benefit by sharing the prayer or facing the challenge together, whatever that challenge might be?
I’ll conclude with some of the lyrics from a well-known Israeli song which begins, באנו חשך לגרש banu hoshekh l’garesh. We have come to chase out the darkness.
כל אחד הוא אור קטן Kol ehad hu or katan. Each person is a small light.
וכולנו אור איתן V’khulanu or eitan. And all of us together are an enormous light.
Let’s honor the individual, intimate light that each of us brings to the world. Our private prayers, our intimate connections to one another, should be cherished.
And let’s honor as well the enormous light that we bring to the world when we join together.
They’re all good. They’re all worth nurturing and cultivating and celebrating on this holiday of lights.
Originally delivered at Temple Israel of Great Neck on Shabbat Hanukkah, December 16, 2017
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