How Do We See One Another? The Challenge of Getting Past First Impressions

I want to describe a conversation I had while in Israel this summer.  It has to do with how we see one another.

While our rabbinic group was involved with its program at the Hartman Institute in Jerusalem, a group of Christian theologians were simultaneously involved in their own program. As we’ve done for the past several summers, we had a few joint sessions with the Christian leaders. 

For one session we joined in small groups to discuss the concept of the Jews as the chosen people.

A rabbinic colleague and I joined with a Baptist minister from Massachusetts.  She spoke to us about the experience of being African American and serving a largely white congregation for several years before taking an administrative role in the church.

Faith and Fear: Reflections on My Recent Month in Israel

Recently I was sitting and learning with my rabbinic cohort of colleagues at the Hartman Institute in Jerusalem when we were informed that in five minutes there would be a test-siren, just to make sure the system was working properly.

I quickly called Deanna, who was in our apartment at the time, to let her know.  And sure enough the siren went off five minutes later.

As you might imagine, she was happy for the heads up.  Last summer, of course, the sirens were not just a test.

To state the obvious, Israel is very pleasant when there isn’t a war. 

It was a very different experience this summer.  Much calmer than last. 

We took buses everywhere, had a chance to go to the beach in Tel Aviv, ate in cafes and just to make clear, I also did a lot of studying, just like I was supposed to!

At the Tomb of Abraham in Hebron

One of the main topics our rabbinic cohort discussed was faith, mostly defined as faith in God.  You may or may not be surprised to hear that this is a very complicated topic for rabbis and one that many of us like to avoid.

What we discovered, as we spoke and studied and went on a few field trips, is the extent to which faith is connected to fear.  Noting the less fearful mood of this summer in Israel, as compared with last summer, I nonetheless want to reflect on the connection, as we studied and explored it, between faith and fear.  Even during peaceful times, after all, fear is a part of life.

The Secret to True Self-Esteem

My son just returned from a trip to Iceland with one of his best friends.

While he was there, he hiked all over, took in the nightlife in the capital city – it never really got dark, so it wasn’t technically nightlife – and he sent us pictures with captions like “most beautiful scenery I’ve ever seen.” 

When he got back, we schmoozed about the trip and he told us that when he and his friend were sitting in a restaurant, they looked around and had the following perception:

That they were the shortest, most plain-looking people in the restaurant.  Apparently the restaurant they were in drew a lot of native Icelanders.  According to my son, they were all well above 6 feet tall and looked like models for Nordic track. 

Whether or not he realized it at the time, he created an interesting modern version of the Torah’s story of the twelve scouts, which we read this morning.

The essential story is similar:  The land is beautiful beyond belief.  We, however, are inadequate.  The people are larger, stronger, nobler than we are.

My son and his friend felt this in a humorous way and I don’t think he was reflecting a deep sense of inadequacy.

But our ancestors who scouted out the land felt their inadequacy profoundly.  To be fair, they were not on a post-college jaunt.  They knew that they had to conquer this land, not just visit and take pictures, that their lives would be on the line.

After considering my son’s story and the ancient story, it occurred to me that they present an opportunity to reflect on the notion of self-esteem.

Let's Not Give Up on Prayer

I was in a hospital recently with a family whose loved one was nearing the end of his life.  The family asked that I say a prayer and I recited the prayer traditionally reserved for those moments.  The prayer begins with a request for refuah, for healing, but goes on to say, if this is the end, if healing is not to be, then take this person gently, lovingly.

One of the people who heard the prayer is a native Hebrew speaker and she noticed the sudden transition in the prayer – from requesting healing to requesting a gentle end to the person’s life. 

We talked about that a bit and then we all recited Shema Yisrael together, sensing that the neshama, the soul, of their loved one was already in a different place.

Experts in Jewish tradition and community-building lately have focused on the reality that prayer is hard for people to relate to for lots of reasons. 

They go on to say that there are many ways to engage Jews and we should be emphasizing those, which include Jewish learning, Jewish culture, social action.  Since prayer may not be compelling for people, we should be placing more emphasis on these other areas.

To which I say yes, but...

Hunger and Desire the Jewish Way

I remember the years when our children were invited to their friends’ b’nei mitzvah.  We did a lot of carpooling in those years to get them to and from various receptions.  Every parent knows that if you just drive quietly, your children and their friends will sort of forget you’re there and they’ll talk pretty openly.

As the occasional chauffer I heard all sorts of things about friendships and crushes.  But the most entertaining part, I think, was when I’d drive them home from a celebration and hear a critique of the food at the party. 

I’m talking an all-out analysis of the cocktail hour that would make Ruth Reichl proud.

The sushi was better last week.

The franks in a blanket were room temperature – can you believe it?

Etc.

These conversations got me thinking about how, from an early age, we need to deal with desire and self-control.  Beyond that, they can raise questions about the way we think about abundance and scarcity.  A tiny percentage of the world’s population experiences cocktail hours.

This morning, I want to explore the overarching issue, not just as it pertains to food, and that is – what does Judaism teach us about how we relate to the physical world which includes how we eat and how we handle sexuality.

Investing in Our Brand of Judaism

When Deanna and I got married, her father suggested that we speak to his financial advisor about starting an investment portfolio.  We showed up with our modest savings and he recommended two mutual funds.  I followed their progress and noted, after a few years, that they weren’t doing so well.

I asked the advisor about them and he said, “Well, historically they’ve done well.”

And I said some version of, “I’m a very respectful student of history, but how does that help us now?”

And he said then, what he would say to us over and over again, you need to look at the long haul. 

At the time, I thought to myself, the phrase “you need to look at the long haul” must be his way of saying, “I messed up, but I can’t actually say that.”

But truly, over 25 years later, I’ve come to realize that he’s right.  Investments don’t necessarily pay off immediately, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t invest.  Careful, mindful investments generally do pay off in the end.

This morning, I want us to think about our investments – financial and spiritual – and the benefit they bring over the long haul.  Specifically, I want to talk about the importance of investing in the approach to Judaism that our synagogue represents.

For several months, we’ve been urging the congregation to vote for Mercaz, the organization that supports Masorti, or Conservative, Judaism in Israel.  The investment in a type of Judaism in Israel that is traditional yet open and fully egalitarian is crucial.  But we don’t always feel the importance of that investment, frankly, and we should.

Here’s a situation that will explain way we need to invest in Masorti Judaism:

For over two decades, the Masorti movement in Israel has sponsored a program to prepare children with special needs for bar and bat mitzvah. Participants have included children with cerebral palsy, Down Syndrome, ADHD, autism, blindness, hearing impairments and learning disabilities.

Each year, the Masorti movement partners with over 40 special education schools to bring appropriate bar/bat mitzvah training to over 300 children with special needs.  Whatever the physical, cognitive or emotional challenges, each child receives an aliya to the Torah.

This is the only program of its kind in Israel and it has drawn families from across the religious spectrum, including many Orthodox families. 

Let’s fast forward from the genesis of this program to recent events, April 2015.  The Masorti synagogue in Rehovot, a suburb of Tel Aviv, was planning a Shabbat morning b’nei mitzvah celebration in a Masorti synagogue for four children with autism. 

Passover, Politics and the Jewish Obsession with History

I want to speak this morning about the value of history. 

Starting with very recent history.  Last week, the Rabbinical Assembly hosted a call with Dennis Ross about the agreement with Iran. 

He identified 4 areas that need to be emphasized in order for an agreement to be sufficiently satisfying to him:

1.    There needs to be one year minimum breakout period, defined as the time it would take Iran to finalize a nuclear weapon

2.    The international  need to be able to verify; all sites need to be accessible at all times

3.    There need to be severe consequences, that include the use of force, for lack of compliance.

4.    and it needs to be understood that severe consequences, which may include force, can be applied even after 15 years.

He pointed out that there has been mistrust between the US and various nations seeking nuclear power for as long as there’s been nuclear power, that this dynamic is hardly new.

During the Q and A, he was asked about the relationship between Obama and Netanyahu.  He said, it’s not ideal.  But let’s face it – there have been rough spots in relations between US and Israeli leaders throughout Israel’s existence.

He reflected, for example, on the relationship between Ronald Reagan and Menachem Begin which was hardly ideal.  Reagan thought that Begin was a bull in a china closet.  And Begin had reservations regarding Reagan’s mastery of the subtleties of international affairs. 

I’ve referred before to Yehuda Avner’s book, The Prime Ministers, which chronicles Yehuda Avner’s perspective from working in several Israeli administrations from Levi Eshkol to Menachem Begin.

Passover is the holiday which grounds us in historical perspective.  In ways that I will make explicit, and with implications that are political and personal, the Passover story takes us beyond the OMG of the moment and allows us to look at our lives against the backdrop of history and even eternity.

The present can be a very lonely and frightening place and the perspective that this holiday brings can give us insight and hope in multiple realms.

So here we go...